zombiestuck | it's the end of the world as we know it

cant say i never tried though bro

Consider your attempt a thing that happened. We're all aware of it and accept it as a Strider trying to get goods he isn't ready for.
Seriously, stick to the younger ones.

i was just pissing about bro
i dont really want any bitches old or young yo
can we save the birds and bees shit for like never

And waste all the great books I have in store for you? You forget that part of the whole guardian contract is making your romantic and sexual life as awkward as possible for the sake of smooth sailing.

[Should he give you the Ins and Outs of Gay Sex? Sure you'd like that for a car ride read.]

for the sake of laughing your ass off is more like it
yknow i still think you let dirk of lighter that the crap you give me
its like he submitted to all your pony and lil cal crap so he gets off scott fuck free
fine if i have to man up and get that cutie mark we spoke about ill do it bro ill make it happen
if it will get you off my balls about awkward adolescent twink shit

[... As awkward as that might be... it might need to happen some day ~~if dave ever wakes up from denial~~ ]

You both get the same treatment about this. The difference is you're being a little more difficult and Dirk was more willing to approach me about it.
That's all.
You're going to have to get a raincheck on that cutie mark anyways. I'm assuming the guy I usually see to get ink work is either trying to survive or joined the army of the walking dead.
Trust me, you'll want someone to speak about then blindly scrabbling your way through this shit.

[One day, Dave. One day. But for now, you will continue to enjoy your corner of denial.]

tell you what
its like if i survive this explosive shit hole of an ordeal you can take me out for strawberry sundaes and well chat a great fucking length about my great fucking length and what im jerking it to ok

[Oh he will! Dave is GREAT at denial, practically radiates the stuff.]

I'll pencil it in and spend our undead ridden days hoping for the moment this actually becomes a thing.
It tingles at my fingers and warms my heart at what bonding we can get done over what turns the little man on.

[It's like he can't win. He offers you all types of porn, but you just can't decide what you want.]

this is already so fucking awkward i wouldnt be surprised if embarrassing us gave you a boner bro
i think im done talking about my dick for today

[That's the problem! He can't work out which he actually likes!]

I'm a little classier then getting boners over my little siblings.
Might as well get all those conversations out now. Something tells me, we won't really have that luxury soon enough.

[Gosh, Dave! It isn't that hard!!!]

sorry i forget it has to be stuffed and obscenely shaped like a penis or a cartoon horse for you to get off
is this really a thing that should be happening now bro
its a fucking zombie apocalypse and you seriously want me to open my little frustrated adolescent heart to you
fuck that id rather be up to the elbows in guts than bitches right now bro

[Oh its hard... believe me its hard :\ ]

It's only been like, what? Not even an hour? I'm not paying attention to the clock, so prove me wrong if you really want too.
Zombie apocalypse is hardly a thing right now, unless the entire world is already that far gone. And if it was, we'd actually be trying to do something about it right now.
Instead, you two are driving home from Taco Bell, and I just made it so we no longer have neighbors. But I'll agree. zombie bitches isn't my idea of a good time.

you wanna know what the most ironic thing about this little chat is bro
its the fact th

[Dave's pesterchum cut out. His battery was dead, it had been flashing for a while now and bumming off the cars battery over heated his iPod.]

Fuck.

[Welp, he's probably going to harass Dave about whatever he was about to send later. But now he's just going to lean back into the couch like the most disgruntled parental unit one can be.

Or just sit back and chill for now. That works too.]

it's the end of the world as we know it

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