OPEN MEMO [TROLLS]

[crustacean]

carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board TEAM ADORABLOODTHIRSTY.

OKAY, SHITHEADS, LISTEN UP.
FUCK I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF A BETTER NAME THAN THIS.
WHATEVER, IT'S A STUPID NAME, LET'S DO THIS.
I HAVE ASSUMED ROLE OF ABSOLUTE LEADER BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, NONE OF YOU NOOKWHIFFERS CAN SEEM TO WALK A STRAIGHT LINE IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDING ON IT.
WHICH IT DOES, BY THE WAY.
I'LL GIVE YOU A MINUTE TO LET THAT SINK IN.
WE'RE RELYING ON THE UNDERDEVELOPED SKILLS OF A BUNCH OF NITWITS AND I HAVE TO CORRAL YOU ALL INTO SOMETHING THAT RESEMBLES A TEAM THAT ISN'T COMPLETELY DOOMED AND INCOMPETENT.
ARE WE CLEAR?
GOOD.
NOW I'M DEMANDING A ROLE CALL TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY INEVITABLY FUCKED YOURSELF OVER IN THE FIRST 10 DAMN MINUTES.
AND WHEN YOU DO, TELL ME IF YOUR NEIGHBORS ARE ACTING WEIRD.
IT'S A TOTALLY LEGIT AND UNASSUMING BIT OF INFORMATION THAT HAPPENS TO BE VERY IMPORTANT TO LEADERLY TYPES LIKE ME, SO DON'T FUCKING QUESTION IT.